So, you’re not sold on sleepaway camp. Maybe you think it’s too expensive and not worth the same investment, say, as club sports, STEM studies, and other leg-up endeavors. Or maybe the thought of shipping off your baby for one week, let alone seven, is unbearable—we feel you (as does every teary mom at dropoff). And yet, for many New Jersey families, overnight camp is a beloved, generation-spanning tradition, with legions of parents still utterly devoted to their alma maters and BFFs with bunkmates from 30 years ago. What do they know that camp-shy parents don’t?
“I want to reframe it for those parents: Camp is a gift that you are giving your child,” says Alicia Skovera, executive director, American Camp Association, NY & NJ. Experts will tell you that the right sleepaway camp strengthens social-emotional skills while offering a respite from a fast-moving world. “It’s never been more important because of the culture we live in,” says Lauren Muriello, licensed psychotherapist, speaker, and founder of Well Being Therapy Center in Short Hills and Montville.
The benefits of sleepaway are countless. Here are a few:
EVERY SUMMER IS A FRESH START
Camp allows kids the space to figure out who they want to be, whether in life or just for the summer.
“So many children follow grades with the same group of kids, and camp provides an opportunity to try on different identities,” says Skovera. This is especially important for older and middle school kids who find themselves stuck within rigid social hierarchies and pressure (sometimes parental) to conform to ill-fitting identities. “We don’t want parents and caregivers telling children who they are; it’s something they have to come to themselves,” she says. At camp, they can.
FOREVER CONNECTIONS ARE MADE
Camp ties bear future fruit, from expanded social circles and career networks to finding spouses (not as uncommon as you may think) and fostering next-gen friendships. In mere weeks (days?), kids develop close relationships that last a lifetime—something Bergen County-based Dara Pasternak, an advisor with Camp Experts, well understands. Not only did she meet her husband at the same camp her kids now attend, she’s still tight with her camp besties. “You develop these bonds that are always there, and they just seem to grow as the years go on,” she says.
KIDS LEARN WHAT A FRIEND SHOULD BE
Camp instills a belief that you deserve to belong. “Camp changes you. You feel good about yourself. You gain respect for yourself. You think differently about yourself,” says Skovera. Not only does summer self-esteem prompt kids to reevaluate subpar relationships, having a supportive outside circle provides a safe harbor against cliques, bullying and everyday friendship drama. “It gets you out of your everyday group. If somebody’s feeling crummy at home, they have their friends to reach out to,” says Pasternak. The ability to say “it’s not me, it’s them” is truly a super power.
THEY TRY NEW THINGS
Kids thrive when opportunity meets a supportive “go for it” ethos. New experiences release positive neurochemicals, and studies back the mental health benefits of novelty and not staying static. Camp, with its lavish buffet of activities and experiences, provides kids with ample chances to figure out what they like and don’t like, what they’re good at, and—most importantly—what they want to get better at. There’s a lot of talk these days about the importance of failing. Camp provides endless chances to say “I failed at this but maybe I want to try even harder,” says Skovera.
THEY DEVELOP GRIT AND GUTS
From navigating bunk squabbles to hanging on a bit longer during tug-o-war, developing resilience ensures kids can confidently handle life’s challenges. “It’s like a muscle that you use every time you’re faced with an opportunity—and camp creates all these opportunities all the time,” says Muriello. Every success bolsters self-efficacy (“that feeling that I can go out in the world and make an impact”) which in turn boosts the ability to manage conflicts, disappointments and unpleasantries (aka the chore wheel). All in all, this creates the sort of character we want in our kids: confident, capable, tenacious, capable, and willing to step up.
SOCIAL SKILLS SOAR
Even in pre-screen days, camp kids have always grown more socially savvy over the summer. Humans learn social skills through free play, and putting kids together in a highly social, close-knit living community with adults at the periphery is one of the best ways for them to hone their relationship-building acumen. It can be intense, with the whole gamut of social-emotional learning on display at every moment, but kids often leave armed with a friendship tool kit that they can bring home to use straight through college. The ability to step into new social scenes and connect quickly with peers is a classic camper trait. “You’re not ripping the Band-Aid off for the first time at 18 years old,” says Pasternak.
SCREENS GET A TIME OUT
Camp grants kids the rare long break from screens, social media, and a life lived through phones. The benefits are profound.
“In-person interactions actually trigger the emotional area of the brain. Kids are likelier to have and develop empathy when they’re in person together because they hear tone of voice and see facial expressions. And they’re able to develop relationships in a way that the human brain evolved to do,” says Muriello, unlike text-based communication which taps into language centers. Without pressure to posture and post (or the fear that someone else will), relationships have space to develop naturally. Plus, they can rediscover analog joys like reading books and making eye contact.
NATURE CALLS
Camp can be buggy, muggy, freezing, dirty, damp and otherwise miserable, yet somehow leaving their clean, climate-controlled, tech-centric life behind brings kids so much joy. “So many of us have worked so hard to provide these very comfortable lives for our kids. But I think one of the biggest benefits is getting kids off screens with other kids outdoors. Even if it’s just for a week. Time in nature is really important and has positive impacts on mental health,” say Muriello, noting how the experience changes the brain by decreasing levels of cortisol (the stress hormone). So they deal with gnats, mud, and no one to wash their favorite shirt so they wear it again, dirty. And yet they don’t just survive, they thrive.
FREEDOM IS FOUND
At camp, it’s their world. “Being away from parents is a huge benefit,” says Muriello. Yes, there are caretakers everywhere. Yes, they miss you. But today’s kids don’t get much unstructured independence, and sleepaway camp allows them to make decisions independently, without you in their ear. “Kids need to develop their own internal dialogue: Do I wanna do this? What’s the right thing to do,” she says? And yet, it’s the safe contained setting that makes freedom so delicious. Teenagers in particular really thrive when they have clear parameters they respect, and camp has a way of enforcing rules with just the right amount of give so that kids feel brave and empowered.
Every camper’s journey is unique, transformative, and life-changing in some way. So while you may miss them, the camp experience is truly something not to be missed.
—Jennifer Kantor is a Maplewood-based parenting and lifestyle writer and a mom of two.
