You did your camp research: you spoke with directors, toured camps, and called references before choosing what you thought would be your child’s “forever” overnight camp. But after a summer—or even a few—your child comes home saying they don’t want to return.
Often, this comment can put parents into a tailspin. They begin wondering what could have gone wrong, and if their child doesn’t go back to camp, what will they do next summer? Corey Dockswell, director of Camp Wicosuta, an all-girls overnight camp in New Hampshire, advises parents to give it a beat. “At the end of the summer, children feel a mixture of emotions. As parents, we may wait for the thumbs up to re-enroll as the endorsement of our child’s experience. When they don’t provide that and are ambivalent or reluctant to return, that gives us an obvious pause. We recommend giving your child some space, and time, and then talk it over with them.”
When you do talk, try to uncover what’s truly bothering your child. Understanding the root issue will help you determine whether it can be addressed—or if it’s time for a change. “If, after speaking with your child, they are still reluctant, their reason isn’t clear or you’d like more context, reach out to the camp director. They want to partner with you and share their observations and suggestions,” says Dockswell. “The camp director can provide more insight and a complete sense of your child’s experience so you can evaluate whether this camp is the best fit for your child. Sometimes, it’s not about fit, but about normative homesickness or bunk placement. Those challenges can often be addressed. Other times, hindsight is 20/20 and knowing more, you may want to reevaluate your goals and find a camp that better suits your child’s needs.” Depending on the situation and after speaking with the director, you may decide it’s time to move on from the camp.
Jenny Gold, a mom from Essex County, realized after a few summers that her daughter wasn’t clicking with the campers at the camp she was attending. “Making lifelong friends was really the top reason we wanted to send her to overnight camp in the first place. When I looked around the camp, I realized there really weren’t a lot of ‘her people’ so we realized it was time for a change.” When she began researching again, Gold focused on finding a camp that better matched her daughter’s personality and interests. “I wanted a camp with a good mix of kids with different interests and not just a cookiecutter camp. It was also important for me to find a place where she could focus on her personal interests and a camp that truly focuses on kindness, not just one that says they do.”
The second camp search often looks different. Where you may have been driving the search the first time around, your child will want to be even more involved now. Your child is also older, their interests more defined, and their personality more developed. Talk about what they loved about their previous camp and what they’d like in a new one. If your child is now in middle school or older, ask the directors whether there are other new campers their age and if the campers in the division your child will join are welcoming and open to new friendships.
Switching camps is a big decision and one that you should take time to figure out. Honest conversations with your child and camp directors, paired with your own instincts, will help guide the next steps. “Camp directors view themselves as partners,” says Dockswell. “We understand that camp is wonderful and also imperfect at times. We welcome the opportunity to work with parents as they evaluate the kind of experience they’d like for their child. Our goals are the same: we want each child to have a wonderful experience at camp.”
— For more than 14 years, Jess Michaels has worked for the American Camp Association, NY and NJ, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to enhancing the summer camp experience.
