What is considered normal screen time versus too much?
This can be a tricky question, but a safe number I recommend is between 4 and 5 hours, with age being a factor, as younger kids are more developmentally vulnerable to excess screen time. Another important factor to consider is how the device is being used and whether it is on one app or proportionately spread across platforms. I suggest social media time be a more controlled variable due to the significant stressors it poses to the adolescent brain.
How do I know if my child has an issue with screen time?
One of the key indicators is how they react when time is up, or when you ask them to put the device down. Harsh reactions or reluctance to follow the boundary are signs they have reached the limit of usage. Another factor parents may recognize is the academic impact. This can be due to rushing through schoolwork to get to the device or excess use impacting developmental areas. Notice if your kids are hiding devices from you to access behind closed doors or if they are using them outside of the limits you set.
What kinds of things will I notice if my child uses screens too much, and when I take them away, how might they act?
They may be unable to disengage and even show signs of irritability when devices are removed, including what can be defined as temper tantrums. Some kids will have a loss of interest in “offline” activities, including hobbies, teams and clubs.
When you take away a device from a child who struggles with screen time, it can be similar to removing an adult sports bettor’s access to the betting lines. Through these struggles, an adolescent can show visible “addictive” behaviors related to excess use.
What should I monitor regarding their screen time, or what should I be teaching them about it?
Monitor where they are spending their time first, rather than how much time. Duration is definitely important, but if there are noticeable patterns such as games, social media or AI overuse, it can help show where the youth’s interests really are.
One of the lessons that is crucial to teach kids concerning screen time is that the parent is in the driver’s seat with regard to access. Meaning, the parent is most likely paying for the device, the service and the electricity to charge it. If a child or teen is reluctant to comply with limits, reminders such as these typically help clarify where they stand in the conversation. This also means that as the parent, you need to be active with regard to monitoring their screen time and not only react when the screen time is immense or poor behavior related to screen time begins to emerge.
Another lesson to teach your kids is what screen time may be taking away from them, including other interests, in person socialization and more.
What are three rules you suggest a parent set for their kids during summer that will create a win for parents and kids?
- Set a basic amount of screen time that they may start each day with and put it into a bank.
Major events can add time or take time from future days. The set time at the beginning of each day can fluctuate based on behavior.
Good behavior means time can be added or there can be fewer restrictions on apps/games. This includes doing some household chores, reading for pleasure, engaging with siblings, etc.
Bad behavior can take time away, but bulk time removal should occur only after more serious incidents. If we take the device away early in the day with no chance to earn it back, the child has no clear reward for any targeted behavior, and it can become a power struggle.
The opportunity to add time should always be on the table, even if it is only for smaller increments. This creates incentive for the youth to buy back in and change behavior instead of getting a case of the “forget it” mentality after losing access entirely.
- Define what you as a parent see as screen time.
Kids often need to have everything clearly explained, so make sure they know what you mean. Having a consistent definition of what is considered screen time among all members of the family means less chance of miscommunication or children taking liberties with one parent over the other. This definition will vary by household because some may take video games out of this category, although I find most will not.
- Show them how they can check their screen time, as well as the breakdown of where they spend that time.
The child understanding this information can hopefully help steer some of their behaviors toward more balanced ones. It also gives the opportunity for increased collaboration and communication between child and parent, with the goal of ultimately taking some of the burden off the parent and putting more responsibility on the youth. This will give them the opportunity to think critically and make decisions with themselves in mind, while also teaching them that ultimately it is their future selves who will be impacted by those choices.
Read More: Worried About Your Teen’s Social Anxiety? Here’s Help
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Timothy Dunn is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). He offers therapy sessions at the Serenium Therapy & Wellness Cranford location and virtually across all of New Jersey. He has been working in the mental health field since 2016, beginning in inpatient treatment, followed by several years as a case manager supporting adults with severe mental illness. He has been practicing in an outpatient setting since 2022, working with children through adults.
He serves a diverse population across age, gender and mental health concerns, with a focus on treating anxiety, depression, trauma, abuse and neglect, and has a passion for helping adolescents. He is a husband, father and proud dog dad who hopes to help heal the world one person at a time.
As an empathetic listener, he enjoys hearing the whole story and thinks of working with his clients as being part of a team, rooting them on with whatever goals he and the client find beneficial.
