Feeling tired, irritable and weepy right after the birth of your baby isn’t unexpected. Hormones, intense emotions and lack of sleep can make anyone feel overwhelmed. But while the baby blues usually go away within a week or so, some new moms experience a more lingering depression.
Known as postpartum depression, the term actually is part of a range of perinatal mood disorders, including anxiety and panic attacks—and they don’t only affect new moms. “Perinatal mood disorders can occur at any time during pregnancy and up to 12 months post-partum, or also after the loss of a baby,” says Laura Park, Psy.D., post-doctoral fellow in behavioral medicine at Cooper University Health Care. “It can occur with your first baby, second baby, or subsequent births. It can happen at any time to anyone.”
These mental health conditions are more common than you might think. “Up to 20 percent of women develop perinatal mood disorders,” says Slawa Rokicki, Ph.D., assistant professor, Department of Health Behavior, Society and Policy at Rutgers School of Public Health. “The symptoms can sneak up on you because they’re unexpected. You also may wonder if you’re not a good parent because everyone’s congratulating you, but you’re ashamed that you’re not happy.”
Even women who realize they’re not functioning well hesitate to speak up, fearing their needs will come at the expense of the baby. “But admitting how you feel doesn’t mean you’re being weak,” says Chavi Eve Karkowsky, M.D., associate professor, department of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive health, Rutgers New Jersey Medical School. “If you’re not eating, sleeping, showering and functioning and you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot take care of your child.”
Untreated mental health issues affect your child, too, says Karkowsky. Research has found perinatal mood disorders can make it difficult to bond with your baby, and your child may develop feeding, sleep or behavioral issues and delays in language development.
The good news: There are effective treatments for perinatal mood disorders that will allow you to feel better and connect with your child.
This isn’t something you brought on yourself; this is a medical condition that needs to be treated, just like a cut or broken bone, says Karkowsky.
Here’s what else you should know about perinatal mood disorders and what to do if you think you need help:
WHAT ARE THE RISK FACTORS?
Many risk factors play a part, such as hormone changes, genetics and a personal history of depression, says Rokicki. Other things that make you more prone include if you don’t have a strong social network of support, if you’re a single parent, if you’re struggling financially, if you had a traumatic birth experience such as an emergency C-section, if you’re struggling with breastfeeding, or if your baby has serious health issues or spent time in the ICU.
Because life circumstances change, you may be more at risk at certain times in your life than others, which is why you may experience it with one birth, but not another, says Park. And some women may not even realize they feel worse than normal post-partum because they’ve always lived with a number of life stressors and depression.
Although the research is slim, fathers also may experience postpartum depression. While a dad isn’t dealing with the hormonal component, he may be confronting many of the same stressors that affect moms, including a personal history of depression, financial concerns and social challenges, says Park.
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS?
A certain amount of fatigue and anxiety is natural when you’re a new mom, but it shouldn’t take over your life. “This is an individualized experience that looks different for different people. But the main way to know if you need to seek help is to see how the first two weeks go,” says Rokicki. “Are the symptoms getting better, or are they worse so that you’re no longer able to function?”
While there’s also no one telltale sign, common symptoms include:
- Frequent crying
- Feeling panicky
- Dramatic mood swings
- Change in appetite (eating too much or too little)
- Feeling angry or restless
- Not enjoying your usual activities
- Not being able to stop worrying that something bad may happen to your baby
- Not wanting to connect with your baby or not feeling interested in your baby
- Changes in sleeping (too much or not sleeping at all)
- In severe cases, you may have thoughts of hurting your baby or yourself (this is an emergency, and you should call a suicide hotline immediately)
One tool you can use to self-assess is the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, which is usually administered to you in the hospital after giving birth, but you can take it again to gauge how you’re feeling. “You can take it yourself and see how severe the depression is,” says Karkowsky. Scores higher than 9 mean you should contact your healthcare provider for further screening and treatment options.
WHERE TO GET HELP
Start by reaching out to your healthcare provider, which can be your ob/gyn, your primary care doctor, or even your child’s pediatrician. Your pediatrician’s office typically will screen you for depression at your first appointment post-partum with your baby and may be able to direct you to the right resources for treatment, says Park.
Postpartum Support International is a wonderful resource, which offers a hotline (800-944-4773) for immediate support, online support groups, and referrals to mental health professionals. NJ Family Health Line (800-328-3838) offers referrals and postpartum depression information.
Just as symptoms are individualized, treatment will also be tailored to you. There are a range of options, which may include anti-anxiety or antidepressant medications, psychotherapy (talk therapy), cognitive behavioral therapy or parental support groups, says Rokicki.
WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS SUFFERING
Sometimes a friend, partner or family member recognizes there’s an issue before the mom does. “It can be challenging to bring it up, but you can validate her feelings and give that person encouragement to talk about her feelings,” says Park.
Instead of saying something like, “Why are you crying all the time?” approach it in a nonjudgmental, reassuring way, says Park. Say something like, “How are you feeling today?” or “Are you getting enough help?“ or “I’ve noticed you seem upset whenever we talk. Is everything okay?” Or if she has opened up, you can say something like, “Why don’t we call the doctor and make an appointment so you can enjoy these moments with your baby?”
You also can offer specific help; don’t just say, “Call me if you need me,” because she likely won’t. Instead, offer to pick up groceries, babysit while she takes a nap, mow the lawn, clean the house, bring over a meal, pick up the other kids from school, or whatever real needs you can meet. “It can be hugely beneficial to provide real assistance,” says Rokicki. After all, a little kindness when we’re struggling, even when we don’t recognize it ourselves, goes a long way.
— Arricca Elin SanSone is a New York-based health and lifestyle writer.
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