1. THE WEIGHT DOESN’T INSTANTLY FALL OFF
Of course you’ll drop some pounds after baby’s arrival, but the craziness of having a newborn doesn’t mean the rest of the pregnancy weight magically disappears. Breastfeeding may help speed things along, but it’s a process. Finding the time to be active again (likely when your baby is a little older) and eating healthy is key. Give yourself a break, though—focusing on feeding baby (and yourself!) is more important than fitting into your pre-mom skinny jeans.
2. BREASTFEEDING IS HARD
In a perfect world, your baby latches right away and continues to feed easily for as long as you want her to. For some lucky mothers, it actually happens that way. But for many, there are a host of issues that make feeding difficult—trouble latching, inverted nipples or a sleepy baby nodding off before she’s done eating. Even if it comes easy to both of you, it’ll feel like baby is feeding all day long (because she is). It’s awesome—if you can power through the challenges. P.S. Using a pump isn’t easy either.
3. YOU CAN SAY NO TO VISITORS
It may seem easy to have people drop by, but carrying on conversations with visitors can be exhausting when you’re just getting to know your little one. It’s okay to say you need time. Besides, it’s pretty hard to “sleep when the baby sleeps” if your doorbell keeps ringing.
4. THE DAYS DON’T FLY BY WHEN YOU’RE SLEEP-DEPRIVED
As you help him blow out his first birthday candle, you’ll think, “Wow, what happened? Didn’t I just have him?” But when you’re two months in, exhausted and doing anything you can to get him back to sleep at 2 am, time never whizzes by. The same goes for the days when you’re covered in spit-up and can’t wait until your spouse walks through the door (or when you’re at work and all you want to do is rush home to your baby). If you work outside the home, some days feel like an eternity when all you want to do is rush home to your baby.
5. THERE’S NO “RIGHT” TIME FOR BABY TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT
While it can be helpful to hear other women’s experiences or read up on sleep habits, your baby is on her own schedule. The less stressed you are about the timeline, the better you’ll be at handling her ups and downs (teething, standing, climbing, etc.). Don’t let tales of perfect angels sleeping through the night get you down.
6. IT’S OKAY TO CALL THE DOCTOR A MILLION TIMES
What’s that spot on her leg? Is his diaper rash normal? In the beginning, there are so many moments that make you wonder if something’s wrong—things that can make you feel silly every time you call the doctor. But there’s nothing wrong with picking up the phone. Being a first-time parent is hard (heck, being a parent is hard period), so if asking the pediatrician about baby’s poop makes you feel better, do it.
7. SHOWERING IS A LUXURY
It’s ridiculous, but you might catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on a Thursday and realize you haven’t showered since Monday. Between the feedings, diaper changes, doing laundry and rocking him to sleep, taking a break to shower is the last thing on your list. And when it happens, it feels like a vacation (shave your legs and you’ll feel red carpet-ready).
8. GOING ANYWHERE IS A PRODUCTION
I don’t understand why someone hasn’t invented a “diaper suitcase” because diaper bags never fit the massive amount of stuff you need every time you leave the house. There are diapers, wipes, a changing pad, extra outfits, toys, bottles, milk/formula, a pacifier, blankie and hat. Then you’ve got to load the stroller into the car and make sure he’s strapped into the car seat correctly. And that’s just for an afternoon. If you’re packing for an overnight stay, it’s a whole other ball game.
9. YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOUR KID
Your friend told you to let her cry it out at three months. Your mother’s asking if she’s warm enough in that outfit. The woman at the doctor’s office is staring while you nurse in the waiting room. Listen up: You’re the parent and you make the rules. If you want to start bottle-feeding off the bat, great. If you feel most comfortable holding her until she nods off, do it. It’s about what works for both of you.
10. THE SNUGGLES ARE EVERYTHING
Being a parent takes patience, resilience, quick thinking and energy. But amid all the frazzled moments and long hours, there’s a connection that can’t be matched or even explained. Watching her smile, grow, nuzzle and laugh and knowing that she needs you is the best feeling. One little smirk or clutch of her hand makes it all worth it—no matter how little you slept the night before.
Megan Troise grew up in Summit and now lives in Brooklyn with her two kids, husband and beagle. She’s been writing for years and hopes to return to NJ one day.
