With less than a month to go before school reopens in New Jersey, we’re all feeling the angst of the unknown. What will school be like with mask-wearing and social distancing and no ability to assemble at lunch, in the classroom, at recess or at gym? How safe will it really be? How can we survive more months of remote learning while juggling work and home responsibilities? How will we manage a hybrid schedule with essential jobs that have zero flexibility? How do we keep the kids calm when we’re at our wit’s end with all things COVID?
About the only comforting thing we have to cling to is that we’re all in this together. We know, you’ve heard it before but it’s still the truth. The humor website McSweeney’s gets that and recently nailed the angst we’re all feeling with its hilarious take on your local school district’s reopening survey. In the survey, which was due “last week,” parents are given the four options for their kids:
“1. In-person learning, and constant fear
2. Hybrid learning, mixing constant fear with a dollop of logistical chaos
3. Remote learning, marrying logistical chaos with the cold cloak of devastating isolation
4. Moving to Maine and launching your own homeschool”
Yup, that about perfectly sums up the whole rock and a hard place situation we’re in. But it gets better. Read the full survey here for a hilarious description of each option and remember that laughter is among the best remedies for the stress that is 2020 schooling.