No matter what time you start, here's how your night will likely unfold.
4 PM – Start getting the kids dressed to go trick-or-treating. Remind them to go potty before all the costumes go on.
4:30 PM – Try to get them to all look in the same direction while you take pictures.
4:45 PM – Break up a lightsaber/pirate fight that started because you gave small kids fake weapons.
5 PM – Give up on getting the perfect adorable picture and head down the block to go trick-or-treating.
5:05 PM – Go back in the house and take off a the entire costume you just put on so your newly potty trained kid can go the bathroom.
5:15 PM – Head back outside to trick or treat.
5:20 PM – Chat with your adorable older neighbor who wants the kids to come in have cider and candy apples and take pictures with her, and wait as it takes her 7 minutes to find her phone/camera.
5:30 PM – Run back to the house to get sticky candy out of one of the kids’ eye. .
5:40 PM – Trick or treat at a few more houses on your block.
5:45 PM – Try and keep up as the kids get some energy and start running across lawns and between houses.
5:50 PM – Break up a fight between the kids about who gets to ring the doorbell next.
6:05 PM – Explain to your kid that they can keep knocking on a house with a dark door for another five minutes, but no one is home.
6:15 PM – Hear the kids complain about how cold they are.
6:20 PM – Offer to take them home, which of course they refuse.
6:40 Fight with your spouse about who has to walk all the way back home to take your daughter to the potty so she doesn’t pee in her hard-earned big girl underwear.
6:42 PM – End up asking a total stranger if you can use their bathroom. Nice wallpaper!
7:30 PM – Beg the kids to go home finally, since you are tired of carrying their bags for them between houses.
7:40 PM – Wait as your daughter knocks on that dark door for another 5 minutes because she's convinced they are just hiding out.
7:45 PM Draw the line at actually carrying them from house to house and had home.
8:15 PM – Get home to find out that the candy bowl you left out with a "take one" is empty in your bushes
8:25 PM – Watch as the kids count their "loot."
8:30 PM – Witness them bouncing off the wall on a sugar high insisting they don't want to go to bed.
8:37 PM – Put on Nightmare Before Christmas so the kids can enjoy the Halloween spirit.
8:47 PM – The kids are sound asleep all over the living room floor after the sugar high wears off and you don't dare to move them.
9:15 PM – Settle down on the couch with some of your favorite pieces of chocolate (you earned it after all) and a nice glass of wine [Check our list for which to pair with which candy].
9:45 PM – Be forced to get up off the couch as some teenagers come to the door (sans costume) begging for candy. Grab a handful of those weird bags of candy corn pumpkins and put them in their bag. (Serves them right.)
9:50 PM – Pour another glass of wine to reward yourself for not lecturing them about not wearing costumes. Have some more chocolate.
10:00 PM – Pass out on the couch next to a kid still wearing half of a fairy costume.
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