The Stages of Awareness When Your Kid Has Lice
It can’t possibly be your kid, until it is.
©istockphoto.com / Mypurgatoryyears
The call from the annoyed nurse at school who has seen about 12 dozen cases of lice this week alone. Your disbelief that it could actually be your kid.
The disgust at the realization your child actually does have bugs on her head. And then the reflexive itching of your own head.
The blame game as you drive home from school and frantically try to figure out which kid is responsible for giving this to your kid.
Looking at the cost of Lice Enders and realizing there is no way in hell you’re going to be able to bring the kid there, even though that’s really what you would much, much rather do.
Hearing your child whimpering as you dig your fingers into their scalp with the lice shampoo to make sure that you really get every inch of the hair.
The overwhelming panic as you start to worry that the other parents from school will judge you and think you live in filth, even though you know that has absolutely nothing to do with how kids get lice.
Threatening your child that you will shave their entire head if they don't sit still while you continue to dig at their head. All the while questioning them about who they were hanging around with and lecturing them about keeping their distance from other kids.
The frantic cleaning of your entire house. Sheets, towels, pillowcases, curtains, the entire linen closet even the fancy napkins that haven't been touched in a year. Examining every little bit of lint to make sure it’s not a creepy crawly.
Finally facing the music with the other parents, and the embarrassed phone calls to the other family and friends who you've had playdates with recently, warning them to check their own children.
The uncomfortable call to your childless friend who was over the house last weekend and is now horrified at the idea that you could let this happen to your child, and hearing her swear she's never coming over again.
The sigh of relief as you sit in a suddenly clean house with a kid with squeaky clean hair.
Continuing to scratch at your own head for days (much to the dismay of your co-workers who will keep their distance). Spending hours staring into the bathroom mirror looking for any signs of lice.
Your other kid comes home with lice from preschool two weeks later…. Repeat from Step 1.