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Stages of Halloween Trick-or-Treating

No matter what time you start, here's how your night will likely unfold.


No matter what time you start, here's how your night will likely unfold.

4 PM - Start getting the kids dressed to go trick-or-treating. Remind them to go potty before all the costumes go on.

4:30 PM - Try to get them to all look in the same direction while you take pictures.

4:45 PM - Break up a lightsaber/pirate fight that started because you gave small kids fake weapons.

5 PM - Give up on getting the perfect adorable picture and head down the block to go trick-or-treating.  

5:05 PM - Go back in the house and take off a the entire costume you just put on so your newly potty trained kid  can go the bathroom.

5:15 PM - Head back outside to trick or treat.

5:20 PM -  Chat with your  adorable older neighbor who wants the kids to come in have cider and candy apples and take pictures with her, and wait as it takes her 7 minutes to find her phone/camera.

5:30 PM - Run back to the house to get sticky candy out of one of the kids’ eye. .

5:40 PM - Trick or treat at a few more houses on your block.

5:45 PM - Try and keep up as the kids get some energy and start running across lawns and between houses.

5:50 PM - Break up a fight between the kids about who gets to ring the doorbell next.

6:05 PM - Explain to your kid that they can keep knocking on a house with a dark door for another five minutes, but no one is home.

6:15 PM - Hear the kids complain about how cold they are.

6:20 PM  - Offer to take them home, which of course they refuse.

6:40 Fight with your spouse about who has to walk all the way back home to take your daughter to the potty so she doesn’t pee in her hard-earned big girl underwear.

6:42 PM - End up asking  a total stranger if you can use their bathroom. Nice wallpaper!

7:30 PM - Beg the kids to go home finally, since you are tired of carrying their bags for them between houses.

7:40 PM - Wait as your daughter knocks on that dark door for another 5 minutes because she's convinced they are just hiding out.

7:45 PM Draw the line at actually carrying them from house to house and had home.

8:15 PM - Get home to find out that the candy bowl you left out with a "take one" is empty in your bushes

8:25 PM  - Watch as the kids count their "loot."

8:30 PM - Witness them bouncing off the wall on a sugar high insisting they don't want to go to bed.

8:37 PM - Put on Nightmare Before Christmas so the kids can enjoy the Halloween spirit.

8:47 PM - The kids are sound asleep all over the living room floor after the sugar high wears off and you don't dare to move them.

9:15 PM - Settle down on the couch with some of your favorite pieces of chocolate (you earned it after all) and a nice glass of wine [Check our list for which to pair with which candy].

9:45 PM - Be forced to get up off the couch as some teenagers come to the door (sans costume) begging for candy. Grab a handful of those weird bags of candy corn pumpkins and put them in their bag. (Serves them right.)

9:50 PM - Pour another glass of wine to reward yourself for not lecturing them about not wearing costumes. Have some more chocolate.

10:00 PM - Pass out on the couch next to a kid still wearing half of a fairy costume.

More Like This:

Halloween Candy Buy Backs

How To Manage the Leftover Halloween Candy

Halloween in NJ

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