Oh My Gourd!



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plane jane oh my gourdDid you know pumpkins are actually fruit? Yup, like our good friend the tomato fronting itself out as a vegetable, the pumpkin is a big fraud. In fact, technically speaking, pumpkins are berries. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? That said, let me tell you a story about my latest run-in with this veggie imposter.  

The other day, a friend suggested we visit a pumpkin farm and let our kids pick their very own jack-o-lanterns. Who knew these patches existed? Not me. I always thought they were a pretend place made famous by Charlie Brown’s cartoon special. But my pal assured me they were real, and we made plans for the next day. 

Feeling like Halloween superstars, we arrived at the mythical location and surveyed the vast expanse before us. “I want this one!” my oldest son said gleefully, grabbing the first orange sphere he saw. I explained to him we need to take our time. “To find the perfect pumpkin, you need to look around a little more.” He paused for a moment and then wandered off into the field. I didn’t give it another thought until an hour later. There was Aiden: still searching, still gourdless. 

Half crying, my son lamented the futility of finding a pumpkin flawless enough to take home. Seems my advice sent him on a quest for perfection that no gourd, real or animated, could ever live up to. This one was too small, that one too big, the one over there had bumps and that guy had a dent. All I could think was, Oh, great. I’ve turned my child into an obsessive-compulsive in under an hour. How else can I ruin him? So I knelt down and tried to explain that nothing is really perfect. Dings aren’t bad, they just add character. Blah, blah, blah—the kid wasn’t buying any of it. However, he finally settled on a globe. That’s right, the first one he had picked up an hour earlier. So I paid for our flawed goods and drove us home. 

And then the tools go flying—>

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