Deck the Halls (And Walls, Front Yard...)

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holiday decorating distressWe all have THAT neighbor. The one who bedazzles her home, inside and out, with so many holiday adornments, Santa himself would blush. You know the house—the one down the street that glows with electric yuletide ecstasy, banishing the darkness for two entire city blocks. Sure, some do it tastefully. Others miss the mark. Thankfully, my neighbors have great taste. They also have the stamina of flying reindeer.

Every year, exactly one day after Thanksgiving, my neighbor methodically takes down her humongous glowing pumpkin, life-sized mechanical ghost, scarecrow, hay bales, RIP gravestones, 4-foot mummy, and assorted flying witches, and replaces it all with Christmas grandeur. It begins around 7 am. Her husband happily strings lights, places stars, and runs miles of electrical cables. I periodically glance out my window, monitoring their progress and silently wishing they would stop by my house and do their magic here.

By nightfall, their McMansion is supersized with holiday cheer, complete with piped-in music that fills the brisk evening with carols. The home’s tasteful whimsy not only puts my own to candy-cane shame, it also causes my children to question my Christmas spirit: “Why don’t WE have a giant inflatable snow globe in our front yard? Where is OUR 2-story snowman?” they ask. I really don’t blame them. I like that fancy stuff, too, but my attempts at holiday decorating always end up looking awful. Like last year…

Oh no! Jane ends up trapped under the tannenbaum!—>

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