8 Things I Wish I'd Known About Raising Boys
This mom-of-boys stuff can be a challenge. Here's what I've learned so far.
1. It’s true: Boys are gross.
They have no problem picking their nose, burping or farting in public, and they don’t care who witnesses it. (Observation: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, if you get my drift.) When you’re at a restaurant and your son screams “Mommy, look at my boogie!” you’ll want to crawl under the table. General rule of thumb: The more disgusted you are, the funnier it is.
2. Clothing is always optional.
And if you have more than one son, once one is naked, the other isn’t far behind (no pun intended). You will literally turn your head for a second, and poof! Naked. And it’s always when you have someplace to be. However, this is infinitely preferable to what usually comes next—naked wrestling.
3. Clothing options are depressing.
T-shirts, sweatpants and sports shorts. That’s it. No cute dresses, cool leggings or sparkly hair accessories. It’s such a bummer to see the rows and rows of adorable girl outfits when I’m holding three pairs of the same athletic shorts in three different colors.
4. But that doesn’t mean they don’t care about what they wear.
I’ve been in some pretty serious situations when all the Spider-Man shirts were in the laundry. The full-blown tantrums, the hours of nudity…over a SHIRT! Boys care. So stock up and get backups of favorites. Because let’s be honest, what else are you going to buy? (See #3.)
5. Playing “like a boy” may not come naturally to you.
I was playing with my son the other day, and I had Batman tell Spider-Man that he loved his outfit. I literally hate playing “boy” stuff and have zero idea how to do it. I clearly don’t have the right chromosome.
6. Silence equals trouble.
Though to be honest, this is a double-edged sword. Your boys are definitely doing something you’ll have to clean up later, but you may get 15 minutes to yourself while they’re doing it. No one will judge you if you decide to let fate take its course and investigate later. Yesterday, my kids took my enormous change jar from my dresser and emptied it all over my bed. But it was so worth it—no one got hurt, and I got 10 minutes to shop online!
7. You’ll never be alone, ever.
This sounds silly. You have kids—whatever their gender, of course you’ll never be alone. But with boys it’s just more intense. As I type this, my son is sitting on the arm of my chair, petting my face. At times this is amazing; other times I want to scream. Last week, I wanted two minutes to go to the bathroom. My older son opened the door and told me that it was time for me to be done. I cried.
8. But there’s nothing like a mom’s relationship with her boy.
They’ll tell you you’re beautiful even when you haven’t showered, your hair is a mess and you have no makeup on. Recently, my 3-year-old told me he loves me more than poop. I have to be honest…it made me feel good